Wine Joke of the Month - December

A dinner party of different nationalities had arrived at a restaurant. They each ordered a glass of wine, but when the wine arrived they noticed that each of the glasses had a fly in it. 

• The Swede demanded to have new wine in the same glass. 
• The Englishman demanded to have new wine in a new glass. 
• The Finn picked the fly out of the wine and drank the wine. 
• The Russian drank the wine, fly and all. 
• The Chinese ate the fly but left the wine. 
• The Jew caught the fly and sold it to the Chinese. 
• The Roman drank two thirds of the wine and then demanded to have new wine. 
• The Norwegian took the fly and went off to fish for cod. 
• The Irishman ground the fly and mixed it in the wine, which he then donated to the Englishman. 
• The American sued the restaurant and claimed for a 65 million dollars compensation for mental suffering. 
• The Scotsman grabbed the fly by the throat and roared: 'Now spit out all that you swallowed!!'

Wine Joke of the Month - October

A woman and a man are involved in a bad car accident. Both cars are totally demolished. Luckily, neither are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars,the woman says 'Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unharmed. This must be a sign that we should be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.'
The man replied, 'I agree with you completely. This must be a sign!'
The woman continued, 'And look at this,here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police.'


Courtesy of Janke van Zyl 

Win Tickets to WineX Sandton - Rand Merchant Bank Wine Festival

RMB WineX is a great way to relax with friends and enjoy an evening tasting some of the more than 1000 wines available from the 250 Cape producers who exhibit at South Africa's premier wine event.

Come and meet local and international winemakers, taste their current releases and learn about the latest trends in winemaking, glassware, coolers (home storage) and wine racks. 

Sponsored by Rand Merchant Bank, WineX is the premier public event on South Africa's national wine calendar and draws thousands of wine enthusiasts every year.

To stand a chance of winning 2 tickets to the opening day of this premier event on Wednesday 26 October 2011, simply post your favourite wine related joke to this post below. In order to qualify, you need to either follow The Wine Oak on Twitter or "LIKE" The Wine Oak Facebook Page.  

Competition ends on on Thursday 20 October and winners will be notified by Friday 21st October. 

So get the jokes flowing, to enjoy a great wine festival!

Wine Joke of the Month - September

The regular taster died at a wine merchant and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position and the director of the warehouse wondered how to send him away. So they tested him by giving him a glass of wine to drink.
 
He tried it and said, "It's a muscat, three years old, grown on a north

slope, matured in large old barrels. Low grade but acceptable."

"That's correct", said the boss.

Another glass....

"It's a cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, new oak barrels,
matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results.”

"Correct."

A third glass...

''It's a non-vintage pinot champagne, high grade and exclusive'' calmly said the drunk.

The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest something.

She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine.

The drunkard tried it.

"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and if you don't give me
the job, I'll name the father."

Courtesy of Alberto Reis